Dilemma in Judgement

What are the things that go through our brains when we are faced with a circumstance where we must decide if an event is in our favour or against it?

There are plenty, right. Based on your interactions with the individuals involved in the act that took place in front of you, there may be various veiled layers of interpretation. Here, impatience is the enemy. Preconceived notions and resentment are super-villains. All of this obscures the actual "purpose" of the act. You would need to be quite perceptive to distinguish between the narrow line between false and genuine thoughts that your own mind produces.

I am aware that this is difficult to do in the heat of the moment, which is why it is suggested that you step away from the "present" to complete these "analyses". After that, take action based on what you believe to be the act's "true" intention.

If done correctly, this can help prevent more than 95% of conflicts. But those who choose for the bloody route are invariably on the losing side.

That was my cent for the day!

-KK

Mental Fitness: Benefits of Deep Breath aka Meditation (Inhale and Exhale)

"Meditation"

It’s easier said than done. Especially with people who have a very mercurial mind, it seems next to impossible. No one discusses on the slow transition that must happen from a "wandering mind" to "steady mind". 

Whenever, I tried to meditate, I was only able to focus for first 10 deep breaths. After this you would generally observe the mind wander with random topics based on past experiences. An effective way to tackle is problem of "de-concentration" is to give 10 mins settling period for yourself and off-course your mind. 

Settling Period before Meditation:

In this period, you will try and forgive everyone. If not possible to forgive at-least, try and accept the fact and put the adverse thoughts towards them for rest until awaken again by you. This makes the "biggest" noise in your head to tone down. Just like how sand settles in a glass jar of water, your mind must settle these "noises". Keep your palm flat on a surface and feel each single touch point. Remember we have not yet start to meditate here.The feeling of feeling the touch points on your palm gives your brain enough data to process so that it wanders less now. Next, slow look at what is exactly in front of you? Observe it in a detail manner. Like the texture of it, the nature, is it clean/dirty everything. Now you have two senses being occupied with tasks you have given them to observe and feel. While these two activities are going, and data is fed to your brain. Mind slowly tries to make it a routine and tries to take you to imaginary world of useless thoughts. Act fast and start concentrating on each breath you take in and leave out.

Filling your mind:

Every breath you take in, the nostril vibration it causes. Feel it, observe it, appreciate life. Every time you breath out imagine throwing out all the poisonous things out of your body. When I say poisonous, it can be either physical things like CO2 or mental things like bad thoughts. Essentially, you are picturizing yourself to cleanse yourself with each breath out. This is like a virtual bathing. Now you are involved in three simultaneous activities. 

Until now we have activated, three sense organs: Eyes, Nose, Skin.

Meditation:

Now, along with all above organs being busy, concentrate on all the sounds arising around you. At this point close eyes and increase the amount of air you are inhaling and exhaling. Each small sound that hits your ear drum. Observe them. Continue deep inhale and exhale. Practice this for about 30 cycles. Now open your eyes, observe what you see in front of you. 

Perseverance is important:

Once you are successful in isolating your mind for a minute's time in a day. You have given a chance to yourself to re-live. 

Interesting Fact:

"As little as 70 minutes a week, or 10 minutes a day, of mindfulness practice may have the same benefits as an extra 44 minutes of sleep a night."

        - Source 

References:

Magazine: https://www.mindful.org/magazine/

App: https://insighttimer.com/

Mind talks: How to deal with mood swings?

When your mind keeps throwing memories every Nano second based on events happening around, it becomes very difficult to triage them. Generally these memories would be like supporting events to boost the negativity in your mind. In actuality the mood swings are not mind swinging between two moods (positive and negative), but it's a swing between "NORMAL" mind and "NEGATIVE" mind. This difference is important to understand as many may not be able to make out this difference that keeps occurring in their subconscious minds.

Every time there is a positive event that happens around you, all the "SUPPORT" events strengthening the negative stuff that was just a illusion is dragged into mind. Essentially you recover into "NORMAL" mind and then again you slip into negativity. Because of this mind's health is lost. 

So what is the solution?

You may have seen suggestions to sit calmly and watch the swings in the mind and NOT to react on them but just observe them. This is possible only when you are not in ANXIETY. But when in anxiety (which is the state of mind in most cases for a person dealing with mood swings) you may not be in "SETTLED" position to just "OBSERVE" these negative swings. In these cases you would need to close your eyes and only concentrate on your "BREATHE" inhale slowly and exhale slowly. Do this exercise for about 20 times every time you feel your mind is getting out of control due to mood swings. Do not do this exercise when you just ran and came or just did something which tired you and you are taking deep breathes. Once you tiredness is reduced only then do this activity. It helps calm the body and relax the mind. This activity also helps in controlling anger as well.

Mind talks - How to tackle Negativity and its effects

 Volatility in thoughts

Every moment when mind tries to think of all past experiences which have hurt you, do not try to run away from it. You would need to learn to live with it. If not these thoughts will start eating you slowly until you go mad. In my case, sudden rush of such thoughts hits me at unknown times, completely shattering my focus and concentration. I consciously tried to put them behind or ignored them when they appeared in the mind but the intensity of such past thoughts/experiences is too strong. The only solution to deal with such thoughts is to try and accept them, acknowledge them. Talk to your mind, make peace with it. Speak to the evil side of your mind and tell the below.

"Yes, I had such bad experience and may still be going through similar or same kind of experience, but I do not want to die thinking of this alone and want to move on, if you want destroy me by bombarding such thoughts, good luck to you, as I will live with it and move on today"

People with fault picking mindset

I have observed people who would have biased minds when interacting with others. Meaning, if they had negative experience with a person there thirst to find faults in whatever that person does skyrockets. The same output from another person whom them do not have any issues with or have a loving relationship with doesn't trigger fault finding engine in them. And these people do not simple get over with it. Verbal abuse feels like heaven to them, sadistic mindset kicks in when they abuse and 24/7 observation is switched on towards the person from whom they had negative experience with (lets call this person NP from now on).

They go to such extents to please their minds that consciously they ensure "NP" is deprived of all "good" stuff ranging from the smallest to largest.

For such people follow the below mantra:

"I will always do good to all people around me and never try to think ill of them, I do not want to spoil my mind's place by thinking evil of them as my mind is sacred for me and I need to keep it clean"

How tough it is to detach from everything around you?

How can you live a life with absolute ignorance on everything is that is happening around you.. How can you be selectively involved or force participate based on choices made by someone else.

How would life be if you are not allowed to make a choice on the stuff you eat as well. How to show bonding on one occasion and not on another. How to turn a blind eye to all unnatural or illogical circumstances your are drawn into?

How to live and die at the same time? how do you cage yourself and free at the same time? How to be deaf and mute on all injustices around you? How to mix sad and joy moments in the same moment? How to ignore the fact that all you are is just a card in a bigger scheme of things?

How to put all the events which are turning black and white every other moment in perspective and make sense out of it and make a connection back to your life? how to make sense of everything that occurs inside and outside of YOU?