June 17, 2006

Corporate Lessons.. Too Interesting...Dont Skip

CORPORATE LESSON #1:

A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is
finishing
up her shower when the doorbell rings. After a few
seconds of
arguing over which one should go and answer the
doorbell,
the wife gives up, quickly wraps herself up in a towel
and runs
downstairs. When she opens the door, there stands Bob,
the next door
neighbor.

Before she says a word, Bob says, "I'll give you $800
just to
drop that towel that you have on". After thinking for
a moment,
the woman drops her towel and stands naked in front of
Bob.

Bob has a close look at her for a few seconds, hands
over $800 and
quietly leaves.

Confused, but excited about her good fortune, the
woman wraps
back up in the towel and goes upstairs. When she gets
back to
the bathroom, her husband asks from the shower "Who
was that?"

"It was Bob the next door neighbor," she replies.

"Great," the husband says, "did he say anything about
the $800
he owes me?"

MORAL OF THE STORY:
Share critical credit infrmation with your
stakeholders to
prevent
avoidable exposure!

CORPORATE LESSON # 2

A priest was driving along and saw a nun on the side
of the road,
he stopped and offered her a lift which she gladly
accepted. She
got in and crossed her legs, forcing her gown to open
and reveal a lovely
leg.

The priest had a look and nearly had an accident.
After controlling
the car, he stealthily slid his hand up her leg. The
nun looked at
him and immediately said, "Father, remember psalm
129?"

The priest was flustered and apologized profusely.

He forced himself to remove his hand. However, he was
unable to
remove his eyes from her leg.

Further on, while changing gear, he let his hand slide
up her
leg again. The nun once again said, "Father, remember
psalm
129?"

Once again the priest apologized. "Sorry sister, but
the mind is weak."

Arriving at the convent, the nun got out, gave him a
meaningful
glance and went on her way. On his arrival at the
church, the
priest rushed to retrieve a bible and looked up psalm
129.

It Said,"Go forth and seek; further up, you will find
glory."

MORAL OF THE STORY:
Always be well informed in your job; or, you might
miss great Opportunities!

CORPORATE LESSON # 3

There were these 4 guys, a Russian, a German, an
American and a
French, who found this small genie bottle. When they
rubbed the
bottle, a genie appears. Thankful that the 4 guys had
released him
out of the bottle, he said, "Next to you all are 4
swimming pools,
I will give each of you a wish. When you run towards
the pool and
jump, you shout What you want the pool of water to
become, then
your wish will come true."

The French wanted to start. He ran towards the pool,
jumped and
shouted WINE". The pool immediately changed into a
pool of wine.
The Frenchman was so happy swimming and drinking from
the pool.

Next is the Russian's turn, he did the same and
shouted, "VODKA"
and immersed himself into a pool of vodka.

The German was next and he jumped and shouted, "BEER".
He was so
contented with his beer pool.

The last is the American. He was running towards the
pool when
suddenly he steps on a banana peel. He slipped towards
the pool
and shouted, "SH** !!!!!!!........."

MORAL OF THE STORY:
Mind your language, you never Know what it will land
you in.

CORPORATE LESSON # 4

A young executive was leaving the office at 6 PM when
he found
the CEO standing in front of a shredder with a piece
of paper
in his hand.

"Listen," said the CEO, "this is a very sensitive and
important
document and my secretary has left. Can you make this
thing
work?"

"Certainly, Sir" said the young executive. He turned
the machine
on, inserted the paper, and pressed the start button.

"Excellent, excellent!" said the CEO as his paper
disappeared inside
the machine."I just need one copy."

MORAL OF THE STORY:
Never, never assume that your BOSS knows everything.

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